07.29.2026

When I was younger I used to think that cold-blooded animals had ice cold blood in their veins. Or that they could withstand cold weather. Nobody told me this, but I was a conclusion I had come to on my own.

In our surrounding time-space, we walk on a three-dimensional plane. The fourth measurable dimension is the advancement of time, in which matter interacts with other matter at a fixed rate. If there was a fifth dimension (or other state of dimensionality), I would imagine it to be some kind of interconnectedness of matter that isn’t directly observable, or something that directly impacts (or directly results from) quantum mechanics. I don’t have the greatest knowledge of physics, but this was a conclusion I made to explain interconnectivity.

I think there exists a kind of interconnectivity which is not directly observable, but it causes influence over the randomness of matter. Stars and planets could have energy like deeper reaching gravity and electromagnetism, or some other kind of energy that has not been measured. All of this affects chaos and chance on Earth, and vice versa.

07.20.2026

This violent act of photographing will let me make the death of the present into an artful meaningful act! That is if I finally get the chance to take more photographs. The present is to god damn fleeting!

This has been written by other, more literate, people than me since the late 90s, but our contemporary technology is finally strong enough for photographic synthesis! Every photograph exists digitally, and if a photograph or image doesn’t exist, it will soon be automatically generated in facilities built for synthesizing data.

Use your brain and imagine a lot of monkeys typing on typewriters. Except there’s more monkeys than there are grains of sand on hundreds of Earths. The monkeys are only typing zeros and ones, of course. But their output will be read by your brain implant in the year 2126. They will create a perfect image of you. It’s beautiful, it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. And they’ll generate it before you even have the thought of desiring a selfie. That’s because they crunched the numbers, they knew when you were most likely to have those thoughts.

Everyone has two ways of seeing.

You could live in the AI world. Your life is AI-generated! Your food? AI generated. Your friends and family? They’re AI generated too! Every day you sit in AI café and drink AI powered tea with everyone in your bloodline who has died. Have they really died though?

Or you don’t live in the AI world. You understand that visual media cannot be trusted because a false image (or photograph or video) cannot be distinguished from a real video. You know that the only remaining reality is what you see directly in front of you. What you see in your room, in your home, in the streets leading up to your home.. It’s one of the only things you can consider to be real! You’re living life like someone pre-1826!

Obviously I don’t think we will make it to this hypothetical eutopia.

07.18.2026

I need to take more photographs with my cameras. I’m saying this here as a manifestation, because I’ll probably forget otherwise! I want to “capture more beautiful moments” in my photographs yada yada..

Taking a photograph of something means that the moment has died. Your photograph is the death of the present. It’s also the funeral and memorial and the celebration of life.

Art is violence? Photography is violence? I know this is a belief I held so dearly in the past and I was so good at defending it, but I don’t remember what it meant. Today I’m making up my own reasoning for that concept. I’ll try living by it for the next, however many, photographs I take.

I’ll point my camera like a loaded gun, and I will shoot. I will kill the moment. This is an act of violence, by deconstructing the present.

07.09.2026

There is a silver lining in everything. Why is it called a silver lining? I wonder what was lined with silver..

I have to be grateful for the issues (uniqueness) of my brain because if it was any other way I would not be here today making and creating things like my life depends on it. I think this is also a very privileged thing to be thinking

If I didn’t always have thoughts racing through my head I don’t think I could have anywhere close to the same number of ideas as I have. I don’t understand how people do it otherwise!

07.08.2026

This last week has been tooo damn crazyy. I’ve been busy doing curatorial work for my honorarium, which has been fun but it’s super time consuming. I think collectively within the last week I’ve spent 40 hours or more preparing for and working on the art install. I think it’s really fulfilling though; I’ve learned so many art preparator skins and I know this will look great on my resume too.

I had my multivitamins again today and I feel so alive despite any and all shortcomings

I have a lot of thoughts throughout the day that I should be adding here but I keep forgetting them!! I’m going to start a note on my phone with anything worthwhile that I think of.

07.03.2026

Humans need to think metaphysically to survive. I think that’s part of what contributed to our ability to have consciousness. We wouldn’t have a part of our brain committed to it if it didn’t help us survive. Maybe it’s intended to force us to build community? If we have built empires throughout the ages based around these metaphysical beliefs, which could have been biologically induced, then are we really that intelligent of a species? Or did consciousness begin when people started becoming self-aware of these ideas.

My vitamin gummies motivate me to get out of bed in the morning <3